After Objects In Space

[meimeimechanic]

It wasn't Kaylee. Not really. It was a show. A little piece of her had been lost that day and
weren't gonna be coming back. No matter how much everyone expected to. It was as she'd said herself. Somethings get broke and you can't fix 'em.

Trouble was there was only so long as well before parts of it all had to be faced.

"Our lil' Kaylee's jus' fine." The Cap'n turned to her and she gave him her best smile back. "See."

"Don't need to go fussin' over me." Which was true. Kaylee didn't want fuss. Didn't want anyone
to start worrying about her. They had enough as it was. Inara hadn't seemed so convinced. But
she moved on. Simon was easy enough distracted. A mention of River and Kaylee was
forgotten. Made her more than a little sad when she dwelled upon it but it was useful. River was best avoided for the time. When she had little excuse not to, she just kept herself focused on little things that needed immediate attention. Give River no reason to go pry. Wash and Zoë were reassured mostly by Wash providing distraction to Zoë. Quickly Kaylee made her excuses to retreat away from the table to sit on the walkway above the cargo bay. Thankful it wasn't her turn to do dishes or tidy after their meal.

She sat with her legs dangling over the edge for a little while until the creeping voice in the back of her head told her that was a stupid way to sit. If he came behind her she wouldn't be able to run. He'd just drag her backwards because she wouldn't be able to drop over the edge in time… If she did that, what would happen? Sprained ankle? Broken leg? Worse...

Quickly she moved back and tucked her legs under her. That didn't last long either. More thoughts started creeping in. All just as dark. Not like the sunshine they expected.

Kaylee pulled herself to her feet, not paying full attention to where she was walking so when she saw the hatch to the engine room she stopped dead. She couldn't hear anyone else but still all she could bring herself to do is peer around the door anxiously. It looked exactly as she'd left it when Inara had been there with her. The hammock inviting. The room warm and familiar little noises of Serenity’s heart settling down for the night cylcle.

She wanted to take the step inside but it was like she was being held back. Maybe she should just go back to her own bunk but something was stopping her from doing that too.

Comments

[mantheycalledjayne]

Their captain could really spout guǐ chě. Jayne could see it, had always seen it. Mal wanted to play happy little families and sweep all the crap under the carpet because then he didn't have to deal with the fact it was all fucked up. That meant he didn't have to blame himself for the fact Early had even got aboard.

Jayne was angry, and restless, and worried. Pacing about the hold hadn't helped, eating hadn't helped. Polishing his guns did help, but as soon as it was done, then the waves of uneasiness had come back.

What sorta man was he, not able to defend his crew and deal with one bounty hunter?

He grunted, shoving a couple of the guns into his belt. Mal was fine, his head shoved too high up his own pì gu. Shepard had gone to his bunk to read. Simon was fussin' over his sister. Inara was meditatin'. Zoe and Wash were doin whatever married folk did at times like this. Kaylee... Kaylee had been distant and unhappy and sad. Jayne knew why. He'd failed her more than the others. She weren't a soldier, she weren't meant to be threatened like that. It weren't right.

And it weren't right she was on her own, wanderin' the ship like a ghost.

"Hey, Kaylee?" He said, his footsteps echoing through the corridors and on the metal floor. He weren't wanting to sneak up on her, he weren't wanting to scare her. What he wanted to do was hug her, but she probably weren't feelin' up to that.

"You wanna talk?"

[meimeimechanic]

Kaylee waited, listening to the sound of the boots on the deck. Trying to work out which way they were going to go. They got closer and she turned to see who it was. Letting out a breath when she saw it was Jayne, waiting for some comment he had a bad habit of making. That never came.

"I was just checkin' t'make sure everthin' was okay." Her words were chosen carefully. Spoken evenly. But when he asked if she wanted to talk? She nodded. There could have been a torrent of words then. But she didn't go trust herself to say them. More importantly it gave her a damn good reason not to be on her own.

"Not here though." Which was the most out of place thing that Kaylee could say in sight of the engine room which since she'd arrived on Serenity everyone knew was the place to find her.

[mantheycalledjayne]

Jayne don't like that. Kaylee's heart belongs in the engine room, it's her place, it's the place on the ship everyone associates her with. She's got a bunk, a proper one, but it seems to Jayne that the engine room's got a whole lot more of Kaylee stamped on it.

N' now she's scared of it.

That makes him angry all over again. With Early. With Mal. With himself. Mostly himself.

"Come on." He ain't sure where she wants to go, if she just wants to walk. It don't matter, not really. He just wants her to feel better. He ain't sure exactly how to do that, but there ain't no one else trying.

"Was gonna say... if you wanna shoot something, that might help."

[meimeimechanic]

She wasn't sure herself. Just somewhere that isn't there then. The cargo bay wasn't a problem after she'd got shot. She supposed it was because of seeing the others get shot before there. Mostly Mal and he were always okay afterwards.

Kaylee looked up at him. Giving him a slightly incredulous and sad look all rolled into one. "You know I ain't any good at that." The sadness turned to a frown. She couldn't shoot the gun before when rescuing Mal.